An Unexpected Gift
Ever since I had my first son, I’ve deliberated with myself and discussed with my husband when it would be a great time to have another baby. He thought three years apart was nice. I wanted my kids to be closer in age. Many times, I recall the years spent with my younger brother. Bathing together. Playing together. We shared a room for many years. My brother and I are exactly 12 months apart, though. I knew that was pretty close. Time came and went. JR was suckling for the first time in my arms at the hospital and then one day we were at the playground, for his first time, celebrating his first year of life.
We decided that we would just let it happen; well at least that is what hubby wanted. I could see where he was coming from. No one wants to deal with being frustrated because you made the goal of your intimate encounters to be about reproduction and then, no baby. He didn’t want to stress if things didn’t happen right away. He just wanted to enjoy us and then one day, when God was ready to bless us with another child, he or she would be here. And then I realized that each family can’t really say what age difference between their kids would have been better or what didn’t work out as well until after it already happened. We live wholeheartedly for God so I knew I had to just trust Him in this area, like I do with everything else.
I can remember this one night….I felt like Hannah, the mother of Samuel in the Bible. She hadn’t had any children yet and she went to the temple one day and prayed to God that He would give her a child. Now granted, Hannah had no children so I can only imagine what that must have felt like, but how I could relate was I wanted to mother more children. I know some people want to be doctors, or hair stylists or lawyers or I don’t know…just more than a wife and mom, but for me, it’s the reason I know I was born. Living out my purpose has been the most rewarding thing I could ever have experienced thus far in my life. I wanted JR to have siblings. I wanted to teach them to stick together and to be there for each other. So this one night that I can remember so vividly, it was a few months back, I did what a mother who is a believer in Jesus Christ must always do anyway and I just prayed. And cried. And prayed some more. I prayed that nothing was wrong with my womb. I prayed that all would go well with my pregnancy when it happened and that I could be blessed to go through it naturally. And after I prayed, I knew I had to leave it alone.
Even though I had left it alone, each month since I had gotten my period again, at 13 months postpartum, had been a mystery in terms of symptoms and figuring out exactly what day I would get my period. As time has gone on, it has regulated. I even downloaded an app that helps me record everything so that I can learn my body again. Things haven’t been exactly the same, especially since I am still nursing my first baby. And then, this month came and I realized that day number 31 of my cycle was here and still no period. I checked back a few months and I could remember it coming on day 32 or 33. So I decided it could be nothing. Besides, cramping always came on strong right before my cycle started. Well, after day 33 came and went, I decided maybe I should take a test. Negative. This was the absolute last day that I thought that my menstrual cycle would begin. I decided that maybe it was going to come later than expected.
And then tonight arrived, I realized that day 37 has passed me by. Hubby isn’t feeling well. He brings home another test. After dinner, I decided to see if perhaps I took the first test too early, or maybe there was something wrong with the first one. And right before my very eyes, there it was, the result: positive. An unexpected gift. Our blessing.